Parenting.

Styles differ don't they? Having spent quite a bit of time recently with various friends and their offspring, it got me thinking about how we have lived up to our ideals - or otherwise. And I don't honestly think there are any real answers, whichever way you look at it.

For example we have one set of friends with 3 kids, all under 7. We were invited for dinner recently; what was meant to be a chilled evening with some lovely food and a bottle or three of wine ended up with one or the other parent spending most of the time running up and down the stairs, trying to settle one kid after another. To be fair there were very good reasons why each kid should be up, but it would have tried my patience within half an hour. But they took it in such good grace that the Husband and I went home marvelling in the sheer love and dedication we saw that night. And all of their kids are exceptionally confident and loved, the effect of their parents efforts are clear to see.

Then we know several families where the kids have been seen as encumbrances. Honestly, why should they have to stay in on a Friday/Saturday night to babysit their own children, or actually have to get up before 9am on weekdays to supply their kids with some sort of breakfast before sending them off to school? Surely an 8 year old is capable of getting himself up in the morning, sorting his school bag out and finding the bus fare to get to school? Lord knows what they would say about the obligation to read with their kids, or instruct them in basic manners, or instill them with the belief that they could actually do well at school and get a job rather than sponging off the state. Sadly these are comments I have heard uttered in genuine belief that life has been harsh to them and that these are unreasonable burdens to place upon a parent.

So, what about me and the Husband? We are both very close to our parents and had very strong ideas as to what we wanted to bring to the party when bringing up our own kids. I was brought up very strictly and was adamant that I would be a lot more lax with my own kids - but have ended up sounding like my mother much of the time and am a lot harsher than I ever imagined. The Husband had a much more relaxed and open childhood and swore he would be the same with our kids - which makes me laugh when he ends up being the strictest disciplinarian. But whatever happens, we make sure our kids know they are loved dearly and we always strive to put them first; we might not always get it right but the intention is there and I'm sure they will grow up feeling secure and happy.